I sat in a home owners association meeting a few nights ago struggling with all my might to keep my mouth shut. My home owners association has a reputation for being particularly nasty. Simply put, we don't get along. There are more competing interests in that room then there are different colors of houses on the street. When you get all of us in a room, it's fire works, or unfortunately, sometimes, it's mortar fire. However, the longer I sat quietly, the easier it got. As I listened to everyone talk one thing became clearly obvious to me. Everyone one who sat in that room believed with conviction they were absolutely right and everyone of them, all seventeen believed something different.

As the fevered pitch of arguing escalated, the level of logic deteriorated. However, no one backed down. Each individual clung on to their opinion as if their life depended on it and nothing got accomplished. Nothing that is except more discord and neighborhood angst then before. At the end of the meeting all I could think was that really although no one agreed, really no one, at least in their own minds was wrong. Each of them was absolutely right.

Judgment and the ego and fast bedfellows. The ego needs judgment to hold itself together. Ego constantly has to say, that's right, and that's wrong otherwise interpreted as I'm right and your wrong. It's a subconscious thought process we do all day everyday. However, the truth is, it's exhausting. You should have seen everyone walking out of that meeting. They were worn completely out. Downtrodden and depressed, they all took their files and papers and drug themselves back to their corners of the neighborhood. Defending their own opinions with all of that passion didn't really feel that great. Although everyone got a chance to be heard, no one really understood, and no one won.

One of the highest forms of surrender is letting go of the need to identify or judge things and others as right or wrong. Sometimes things are just as they are. Being able to accept circumstances, opinions, and surroundings as they are without labeling them is the ultimate definition of zen. However, even more importantly, when we quit judging right and wrong so much, we release a tremendous amount of energy that we have spent holding on tight to and defending our opinions.

Try it for a week and see how much bliss you unleash on your world. Simply adopt a practice of refusing to judge things, people, or circumstances, as right or wrong. Start by considering the words right and wrong extreme and working towards eliminating them from your vocabulary. You'll be surprised by the rewards you reap for adopting a lighter, less judgmental attitude.