"I do not want to look like a fountain."

I remember saying something along those lines in response to a question from my grandmother. We were walking out of yet another bridal boutique, where I'd rummaged through rack after rack of gowns without finding even a single one to try on. I was frustrated, she was frustrated, and we were running out of bridal shops within the shopping area we'd chosen.

It was a variation on a theme. "I don't want to look like the wedding cake," I'd say sometimes, or "I don't plan on looking like a bleached Flamenco dancer." In shop after shop I'd search through plastic-wrapped dresses glittering with beads, draped in ruffles, stiff with lace. Each was beautiful in its own way, and the brides-to-be who were trying them on looked like fairy princesses. But those long-trained, sweeping dresses weren't for me.

Let's face it. I'd never been a traditional kind of girl. Why would I be a traditional bride?

"We'll try another store," my grandmother would say, though we both knew that the outcome would be the same.

After weeks of shopping, my mother said, "If you can't find something, I'll make you something. We can piece together features from different dress patterns. We'll just have to get creative."

It was a thoughtful, generous offer, but a nerve-wracking one for both of us. Instead of looking at dresses, we'd be looking at patterns, and there was no guarantee that I'd find a pattern that I liked. More than that, though, it would be a huge amount of work for my mother and there'd be no guarantee that when it was done, it would be what I was looking for either. A picture on a page can potentially be worlds different from the actual real-world result. Beyond that, my mother and I were separated by a two-plus-hour drive, which was going to make fittings and the like difficult, especially with both of us working full time and me planning a wedding.

"Well, we'll figure it out when you come for a visit," my mother said, and we left it at that.

It was the week before I was to head up for a visit when she called me.

"I found your wedding dress," she said.

"Sure you did," I said, not believing her for a second.

But sure enough, when I went for the visit, she took me to a local dress shop and showed me the dress. It was beautiful, and I was certain it would make me look like neither a wedding cake nor a fountain.

My mother was relieved to have been saved from the monumental task of sewing a wedding dress. My grandmother was relieved at the promise of an end to dress shopping. And I'd venture to say that I was the most relieved of all. After all, I'd started to consider walking down the aisle in my favorite tie-dyed tee-shirt and jeans.

But still, how on earth was I going to work this out? Buying a wedding dress from a store that was nowhere near my home was not going to be easy.

The clerk there took pity on me. "The designer has a catalog," she said. "Why don't you bring the catalog to a formalwear store near where you live and ask if they can order it for you?"

Truthfully, being young, such a thing had never occurred to me.

She gave me the number to call for a catalog and when I got the catalog, sure enough, there was my dress. With the catalog in hand, my grandmother and I headed for the local bridal shop.

"Can you order it?" I asked and held my breath, waiting to be laughed at.

The woman smiled. "Of course."

Within weeks, I had my perfect wedding gown, at a bridal shop right around the corner from my home, where it was easy to schedule fittings into my work schedule.

The truth of the matter is that some brides just aren't traditional, and no matter how many racks of dresses a store displays, for many brides-to-be, it isn't going to be easy to find that perfect bridal gown.

Don't be afraid to go a nontraditional path. If you aren't finding what you want in the local boutiques, look for bridal gowns while you're on vacation or visiting out-of-area relatives. Browse for bridal gowns on the internet. Find designers that you like and order their catalogs.

In the meantime, find a reputable bridal shop nearby. Chances are, they'll be willing and able to order a dress for you. Often, at your risk of losing a small deposit, they'll order more than one so that you can see them in person and can try them on before making your final decision -- particularly bridal outlets that can add the dress to their inventory if you decide not to take it.

Any bride can have the dress of their dreams with a little creative thinking. I certainly did, and I'll never forget my grandmother's expression when I tried on my dress for the first time.

"It's just perfect," my grandmother said. "Now all we need is to find a veil."

I raised my eyebrows and smiled. "Who said I'm wearing a veil?"