Good medicine? So, why not leave well enough alone? Do I really have the energy to make my wife feel like a million bucks? Well, caring for our relationship with loved ones is good medicine. Having someone to love and nurture is an integral part of being human. Having someone love and nurture us is just as important. Life and success are much sweeter when you have someone to share them with. What is the point of a great story without someone to tell? Love is the spice of life! But, what if But, what if your love life is not so sweet? What if you feel like you have tried everything and she is still not happy? And neither are you? What then? Theres Bad News and theres good news The bad news is that relationships do take work to maintain their quality. With time we all tend to become comfortable with each other and before you know it, we are taking each other for granted, overstepping the others boundaries, and just plain ignoring each other. Now, you might be saying, but she doesnt appreciate me. I work 70 hours a week to provide for my family and all she can do is complain about me not sharing enough of myself. Or, I cant find a time when we are not either arguing or giving each other the silent treatment. Well, these are real issues to talk about. But, you may benefit from letting the past go. Previously, you may have thought you should learn from past mistakes, and this is sometimes true. But, when we get so emotional about past issues and arguments, that we are not in any mood to try to make things better in our marriage, then it may be time to forgive or at least forget. I am in no means putting blame on one partner or the other. It takes two to tango. But, if you are fed up with a crummy feeling every time you come home, then taking the first step or two towards making a better relationship is what you must do. Now, your next thought is probably, hey, why do I have to be the one making the changes first? One thing about marriage, if you want to be truly happily married, you have to stop keeping score. So, are you ready to start the first day of your NEW marriage? The one where you cant wait to get home to your wife to tell her about your day? Where you have great vacations together? Where you always feel loved, appreciated, and respected? Well then, lets get started! The Good News Women like certain things. Doing those things will change the dynamics of the relationship dramatically and relatively quickly. There is much that you can do to spark that old flame in your partner, to make her feel loved, cherished and yes, like a million bucks. NOTE: Before you read any further, take some time to think about her and what she TRULY cares about. This step is very important in defining her preference between the many options of behavior on the list Love Actions List. Some women love to receive presents, others just want you to sit and talk them, and others want you to respect them by helping around the house. It is important to find the right prescription for success. Speak To Her Heart By examining the evidence your wife has given you, you can create a plan of Love Actions, perfect for her. By the way, just knowing that you are thinking about her and her preferences would warm her heart. Write down the answers to these memory questions. Dont think of whether you would want to recreate them but just write them down for now. What did she used to love to do together, but now you do not usually have time for? Is there something that she has been asking you to do that you have been putting off? When do her eyes smile when you say or do certain things? What places did she always want go, but, never got around to it? ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ Now with those things in mind, read through the list. Check off a few ideas that closest match ideas you have above or any new ideas that are what you believe would really get her excited and happy. Gifts of Love Actions List ? First and foremost, I know this seems too simple, but sometimes all a woman needs is attention and time. Reconnect with her with this simple formula: Attention + Time = Million Bucks! Attention= Listen to her and actually think about what is important to her. Time= Undivided. Find a place outside of the home; leave the cell phones and PDA at home. Keep in mind that you may not have REALLY listened to her in a long time, so it may not come easy. TALK to her about what she is interested in. RESPOND by asking additional questions and try to learn something new about her. Try to do this at least once a week. Some questions to help you reconnect: What regrets does she have and what challenges does she face? What are her biggest fears? What is the craziest thing she has ever done? Or wants to do? What are her hopes and dreams for the future? When she old, how will she measure her success in life areas of family, love, and money? ? Schedule a weekend off from work where the two of you can go away together. Ask her first where would she like to go? Spend time walking, eating, or just lounging. Bring her shopping for a special present. Ask her what she really wants and wait patiently, saying that you want something that will remind her how special she is to you. Think back to when you were dating. Talk about why you were attracted to her and why you fell in love. ? Buy a card for her and write something special for her. Tell her what you appreciate about her and how much you love her. Try on scratch paper first and see how it sounds. Think of when you were dating. Would you have just scribbled I Love You? Or would you have gone on about how she looks and smells etc. and how it makes you feel when you see her or when you are close to her? ? Get your message across in different ways! The element of surprise can make life more fun and exciting. It also shows that you love her so much and you just cannot wait to tell her. Write sticky note and put it in her briefcase. Leave a message on her voicemail or answering machine. A little goes a long way when it is not your normal behavior. She will start to notice the change in you. ? Make and effort to speak well of her when you speak to your friends and family. When someone asks about the kids or her business, find a way to give her a raving review or compliment. Her heart will swell and it will in her mind establish her as secure within your heart. ? Do something new and fun together. Our busy lifestyles cause us to forget that fun is important. Instead of going play golf with your buddies, ask her to go to the amusement park or to play a game with you. Do something that you have never done before or that you havent done for many years. Bake a cake, sing together to the radio, play miniature golf; something not too competitive that gives you time to laugh together again. Laughter is the best medicine for a tired marriage. Now, write down any ideas that may have come to mind. Also, write a date a time for the chosen activities. Make sure to ask her if her schedule is clear. Date: ____________ ______________________________________________________ Date: ____________ ______________________________________________________ Date: ____________ ______________________________________________________ Hopefully, you found inspiration for your upcoming days. But, if you may feel there is too much tension between you, maybe you can start slowly. The first suggestion of time and attention is usually a good start in any marriage. You may find that you need a supportive environment to get started. If so, support is here. Support Relationship coaches around the world are supporting and providing accountability to couples, helping them to start their living their life as they have always wanted to, but did not know how. Once a week, time is spent brainstorming solutions to issues and problems with great results in keeping their relationship healthy and fulfilling. Start NOW! Start now in making your wife feel like shes worth a Million Bucks! Please let me know your experiences and how this changes your life! |
